It Needs to Stop (Vent)

I have to say, I am really getting sick and tired of all the assumptions about diabetes, all types, and anything related to it, made by people who are not diabetic, not researching diabetes, not a specialist in diabetes, or an educator of diabetes. I am also beyond irritated at diabetics who use their disease as an excuse, making it easier for the ignorant to assume such asinine crap. Following are some examples of said crap that I have personally observed and this is clearly the only way I can really get it out, no interruptions.

Coming from a 300+ lbs Type II Diabetic: 

“At first you could say that I was upset, and I tried to follow the exercise and diet plan, but I soon came to realize something: "curing" me of the disease is not worth giving up the burritos. Nowadays, I just take a little insulin and I can keep on keeping on.” 

There are two things that I can take from this that really piss me off. First off, whether you are a Type I or a Type II Diabetic, THERE IS NOT A CURE! Yes, we all wish for it but to live in this false reality can be quite dangerous for those who believe that Type II Diabetes or any form leading up to it can be cured (that includes marginal and pre- diabetics). “Well, my doctor says…” SCREW your doctor! Go and see a specialist, especially if you have one of the many nimrods out there that think they understand diabetes. If ANY doctor tells you that there is for sure a cure to any type of diabetes, run like hell. 

For Type II Diabetics, exercise and nutrition are merely the most natural way to MANAGE your diabetes and keep your BGs in check. Yes, once you have lost above 5% of your body fat, you will find that you can eat more and exercise less whilst maintaining a good BG range. However, I dare you to go and eat 2 slices of pizza, drink half a litre of non-diet soda, and follow up with a large piece of chocolate cake and a glass of milk. Then I want you to tell me your BG range over the following days. Not pretty, is it? The disease will always be there once you cross the threshold, but it does not mean you should be discouraged. If you are marginal or pre- diabetic (same thing), a good nutrition and exercise plan can prevent you from sinking deeper into the disease, and those of you who are full-blown type II’s, you can: gain control over your BGs, look better, feel better, live longer, not be fatigued, think clearly, and slow or stop the process of “living decay” that occurs when high glucose levels in the blood erode the organs. 

Now, the second thing that irritates me is the utter laziness. Diabetes, no matter the type, can be frustrating and is certainly no easy feat, but to boast about being lazy and giving up? That is nothing but a slap in the face to those who work hard to gain control, and is fuel for the ignorance fire. As a Type I Diabetic, I require insulin as my pancreas no longer produces insulin. Henceforth, I cannot control my diabetes with just exercise and nutrition (though it certainly helps). 

Type I Diabetes is an autoimmune disease that – in most basic of explanations – is thought to be caused by confusion amongst an overactive immune system that believes β-cells to be poison. The T-cells (anti-bodies) attack the β-cells (communicates insulin needs to the pancreas), killing them off until the pancreas shuts down due to it being “no longer required”. In Type II Diabetes, insulin has trouble connecting to the muscle tissue through receptors due to a large amount of fat creating a barrier. When insulin has trouble getting to the receptors over an extended period of time, the pancreas can produce less and less insulin, and even shut down due to it being “no longer required”. There is also Type 1.5 Diabetes, which is a combination of the two. So, as you can see, they are vastly different. 

Now that you have a little background, we’ll get back to why the laziness irritates me so much. To tell me, or any other Type I Diabetic that you see insulin as a quick fix, when you have the opportunity to live almost free of symptoms, side effects, and consequences, is just plain pathetic. Yes, I could certainly stand to lose weight, which will help in the control of my diabetes due to my need for lower insulin intake, but (and here’s the catch 22) insulin, as a hormone, can cause weight gain. So, I am on a tricky path, but you, 300+ lbs sir, can simply lose 50 lbs and have more freedom in your life.

From the same 300+ lbs man: 

“Don’t you feel bad about being dependent on insulin. I use it and my dad used it. It’s just our life now.” 

To those non-diabetics out there who see all types of diabetes as one, and to those who are ignorant of your own disease, hear me now: Type I Diabetes just happens. It is not our choice. Type II Diabetes is largely caused by lifestyle. It IS their choice. Now stop comparing the two! We are NOT one in the same!

Non-diabetics: 

“Why do you get irritated by having to check your blood, take a shot, and eat no carbs? It’s not like its hard; it maybe takes but 5 minutes all up out of your day. After that, you’re good to go.” 

First thing’s first, WE NEED CARBOHYDRATES TO LIVE! And that’s all she wrote. 

Second: No. It is not easy. As mentioned in my post “Testing Blood Glucose”, I said that it was a process that must be done many times throughout the day, and always ends in pain and numbness. Taking insulin is not easy because it, too can be painful with the hitting of veins and can cause hard balls of scar tissue, making it hard to even inject insulin. Aside from the above three things, all is good, right? 

Wrong! Keeping within a normal BG range (which for diabetics is higher than non-diabetics) is no easy task. Not only do I have to check my BGs to see where they are, I have to eat when it’s low and take insulin when it’s high. I will not go into detail about highs and lows as they will be in later posts, but either direction sucks. I do not feel good, I cannot process information, I get dehydrated, I am constantly busting to pee, it hurts to pee, I am fatigued, I am weak, I am hot, my heart is racing, I cannot see, it is hard to breath, my memory is shot, and I cannot focus. The list is a mix of highs and lows. To top that off, Type I Diabetics go on living knowing that every high BG is damaging internal organs, and every low is one step closer to a heart attack. So, once again: No, it is not easy.


Non-diabetics:

Please explain to me how you know so freaking much more than what I do? 

To medical professionals: I know my damned body. Stop telling me that nothing is going on and then freak out when it turns out I'm right. No need for the snide attitude because you were wrong. Also, when I come to see you and I announce that I am a Type I Diabetic, that should be all of the information you need, but to then ask if I am insulin dependent? All I can say is that it makes you look like an incompetent jackass. Please, educate yourself.

To everyone else: Believe me, I know what is best for me and I certainly understand my disease FAR better than you ever will. I live a restricted life, so do not tell me to not do something simply because you cannot understand how it works. Do not complain about my restricted diet. In no way does it effect yours. Do not turn confusion into anger and direct it at me. You are allowed to ask questions. Not what you want to hear? Stop and think about the fact that observation is all that you have to "deal with". Do not bring up my choice in food during a low BG (I despise food enough as it is). Do not freak out over a BG result. Do you not think I see it? Besides, you have no bloody clue as to what you are reacting to or why it is the way it is. Only I know that, so BACK OFF!

If I get upset at my diabetes, know that I sometimes just need to vent. My diabetes does not apply to you, and so neither does my vent. I am the one who has to live with this disease 24/7, and most probably until the day I die. All that the above does is stress me the hell out and there is absolutely no need for that.

As this has become quite a post, I will stop here (that, and I’m feeling vented). However, I assure you that there will be many more of these to come. If you have any questions or have heard some asinine comment made by an ignoramus, please, do tell.



-- The above information is based upon my understanding of what I have learned over the past few years. I am by all means not an expert, so please consult your Endocrinologist or Diabetes Educator for information regarding your disease. --

Vitamin B-12

A quick post to let you all know that as promised, I got my vitamin B-12 injection today! After only a few minutes, I can feel the energizing effects, haha!

What do I hope to see in the coming weeks?

By March 23, I am hoping to see a much lower and acceptable weekly BG average, and by the beginning of April, I am hoping to see a major increase in my energy and motivation.

I see today as being a new start to my fresh start!

Exercise and Blood Glucose

When I exercise, I have to check my BG before, during, and after. This is supposed to give me an idea about how my BG changes and whether or not I will have a low BG before I complete my workout. Unfortunately, though, my BG usually goes up. Why?

In September of 2011, I started a workout program that was the most effective to date. It is the program that lead to me losing the most weight ever and helped me gain control of my BG. At that time, I was beginning to run and it was something that I enjoyed. I wasn't very fast, but I completed my first 5k (Torrance Turkey Trot) with my aunt; this was also my motivation. The training was done using an app I downloaded for my phone: Couch-to-5k. Overall, I was doing 2-3 hours of cardio a day. 

My BGs became quite good, up to the point that I wasn't taking very much insulin (I was using the pen injections). I was also going to a weight loss centre where they gave me appetite suppressants and most importantly B-12 injections once a week. The injections gave me a lot of energy, and the appetite suppressants helped me to not eat out of boredom, hence why my BGs were so good.

Come the day before the Turkey Trot, my BGs were becoming more difficult to control. At first, I believed it had something to do with travelling, but once I came back home to Mesa, I could not gain control. After a month of high BGs and a SEVERE tension headache, I finally saw the doctor and he explained that my pancreas had completely stopped producing insulin and stress was NOT helping. That doctor was a fantastic doctor, and I would trust his word over any one's, as he actually assisted in studies of both Type I and Type II Diabetes for about 20 years, and helped in the development of Januvia.

In that time, I started to feel down again because who wouldn't be upset that the disease they thought they'd gained control over, took control over them? I completed my exams for the semester and passed all my classes with good grades, but the tension headache would not go away. I later found out that I was experiencing cluster headaches, meaning that I would have a migraine on top of my tension headache. So, once I got those under control with muscle relaxants, I was able to think again.

I went to see an Endocrinologist for the first time because my lovely doctor (whom I miss dearly) suggested I begin insulin pump therapy. When he told me this, I was upset. I was naïve and believed that insulin pump therapy was for people who were too lazy to bother controlling their diabetes. I made the appointment with the Endocrinologist and he made an appointment for me to see a Medtronic representative. Still resenting the idea, I went anyway. I was able to do a dry trial for three days (without insulin) and I must say, I was rather quite excited about the idea. So, I did what I needed to get this new magic.

I was required to attend a carb counting class to learn how carbohydrates work in the body and how insulin works. I learned about carb ratios, which determine how many units of insulin I should take based upon how many carbohydrates I consume. The class was not only good for me, but my mum was visiting me from Australia and she learned a lot, too. After that, I had to wait almost two months before I could start using the thing, as I then had to learn how the pump itself worked, and I had to gather enough information for the Medtronic Diabetes Educator to set my pump. That, and I had to actually wait for my insurance to accept to pay for it and then have it delivered to me. Those two months were long and hard as I wanted it so bad.

I see that I have gotten off topic here, so I guess I should veer back to the point. The insulin pump was meant to help me have a stable flow of insulin through my body to keep my BGs down. In all the time mentioned above, I continued to exercise, just not as frequent or as hard as I had before the Turkey Trot. I guess you could say that I was still upset over the BG changes. However, once I got my pump, I began to get back into my old routine- for about a month.

When I was back to my old routine of exercise, I struggled with many low BGs because my pump settings were not finalized yet (not that they will ever be "finalized" I guess). It was really hard to exercise for long periods of time all at once, but I learned to spread it out more. Then I found out I was pregnant. 

In the short week of pregnancy, I learned much about pregnancy and diabetes, but I will have to save that for another time. The point is, I became really depressed and stressed out, AGAIN. I know, recurring theme. I stopped going to the weight loss centre and I discontinued exercise for a long period of time. My BGs? They sky-rocketed. I found out a couple of weeks after the pregnancy that my hA1c was at 7.1. AMAZING! Well, for me at least, as I haven't had such a low hA1c in the time that I've ever had them checked. The 7.1 is an average of 176 mg/dL over a 3 month period.

So, since then (which would be about late May) I have had more ups a downs. However, the overall outcome has been a downward spiral. These days, I do wish to get control again, but it will take a lot. I have been working out each day- not long, but enough. I am hoping to go back to the weight loss centre and get B-12 injections again to get my energy back up.

In the beginning of this post, I said that my BGs tend to go up when I work out. Why? It is not the exercise itself as exercise utilizes the glucose in the blood much faster as the muscle requires it for energy. It is the stress associated with it. However, if I wasn't so stressed out without exercise, I would not have high BGs after a workout.

What is my exercise routine? I currently use the BeachBody product: Shaun T's Rockin' Body. This is a fun DVD to workout to as it is just dancing, which keeps my mind off of the exercise itself. A workout can be between 17-33 minutes, depending on which video I choose to workout to. My BGs before workouts tend to be in the high 100s and low 200s, and so I do a very small Bolus ("inject" insulin) before the workout, do the workout, and provided I remember - something I suck at lately - check my BG again afterwards. When I do check after, though, it is disappointing to see it in the low 300s. Once again, this is due to stress aside from exercise. What do I hope to do to correct this? 

As mentioned before, I will go back to the weight loss centre and get the B-12 injections, this Thursday to be exact. I believe that with more energy, I will feel less stressed because I won't procrastinate as much, even if it's as simple as straightening up the house. I also believe that the greater energy will help me to exercise more, to WANT to exercise more, which will make me feel better all around., as my moods also effect BG levels (to be left for another post).

YAY for health!

Week of March 3- March 9

This will be my first "Weekly BG Averages" post. With this I will just post what my average blood glucose levels for the past 7 days have been, and what I hope to do to make next weeks averages better.

From March 3 until March 9, my average blood glucose level is:

 243.6 mg/dL

This is a very high average for this past week. If I were to do an hA1c for the week (hA1c calculates average BG over 3 months), then I would have an even 9.0, which is very high. During the last half of the week, I had a little better control over the food I had consumed, but I will admit, I have been careless with my insulin intake. This week I will pay closer attention to entering more accurate carbohydrate counts per food consumed into my pump. 

I am really disappointed with the above results, though I am not surprised. I am pretty sure that this is why I have been so tired this week.

I will try for an average of  >200 mg/dL next Saturday. Maybe I'll have more energy?

Testing Blood Glucose

Testing my blood glucose (BG) can be quite the hassle, but it is a necessity in the maintenance of diabetes, no matter the type. To check BG, there are many tools and rules. The main rule is that one must ALWAYS wash their hands with non-alcoholic soap (so no anti-bacterial soaps, scented wet wipes, or alcohol wipes) because it can cause the BG results in the glucometer to be much lower than they actually are. Dirty hands do just the opposite; they can cause the BG results to be much higher, even by hundreds of points, than what it should be. BG SHOULD be checked first thing in the morning, just before a meal, and 2 hours after consuming a meal, and just before bed. So, you now see why checking BG can be a hassle, even irritating. I know that I get really mad when the error pops up and I have to check again. I am also quite reluctant to check when I need to. It can be a pain in the ass.

Following are the tools needed for checking MY BG:

When I was first diagnosed as a Type I Diabetic, I was very afraid of the Lancet (used to pierce the skin slightly to bring out a drop of blood for testing). It was always so painful and I dreaded those times when the blood would not come out, meaning I would have to prick my finger again until enough blood was available.

Nowadays, I have grown more confident in checking my BG as it no longer takes me 5 minutes with my eyes tightly shut and face deformed preparing for the possible pain to come. However, the tricks I have learned do not always work. I still only use two fingers, my middle and ring finger on my left hand, as I am too chicken to use others, like my pinky and pointer. I have observed that when pricking my finger hurts like a mo-fo, there wont be any blood, or at least not enough. I have also learned that to produce a good drop of blood, I must have warm hands, so I wash them with HOT water (gets the blood flowing), to pump my hand for about a minute, then after pricking my finger with the Lancet, to violently shake my hand in a downward motion. I have had little failed attempts with this method.

Aside from the physical pain and numbness caused by checking BG, it can also cause an emotional pain of sorts. Low BG can usually be detected by my body before the need to check, and so there isn't much of a surprise there, but there are times when I believe I have been doing great, whilst in the meantime, my BG is above 200 mg/dL. Results like this can be saddening, especially when I do not understand why.

What should my results be?

• In the morning, my results should be between 100 mg/dL and 110 mg/dL.
• Before meal should be between 90 mg/dL and 110 mg/dL.
• 2 hours after meal should be between 100 mg/dL and 120 mg/dL.

The above results are based off of my personal ideal BGs set by my endocrinologist. They can change along with my weight and hA1c.

Time for a Set Change

About every three days my insulin runs low in my pump and so it is time to replace it. The set that is changed is comprised of a reservoir to hold the insulin and a cannula to connect the pump to my body.

It has been almost a year since I have began using insulin pump therapy and I must say that I have come a long way. Originally I had mixed feelings that ranged from fear to excitement in using the pump, but now I am nothing but grateful for having it. When I started with the insulin therapy, the fact that I only needed one "injection" every three days versus 6-8 injections a day was beyond exciting. However, the use of the Quick-set and the length of the needle that could be shot through a vein scared the crap out of me.

Over the past year, I have probably hit a vein 10-15 times, which hurt like hell, but I have learned where they are and lately I haven't hit one. This makes the process quicker as I am more confident in using the Quick-set.

Now I will explain the process it takes to change a set, along with photos to show you what it is I am talking about.

First off, I am alerted by the insulin pump that there is >20 units of insulin left and that a change needs to happen soon:

I need to get my supplies together:

Next, I open all of the sealed supplies that I need and check for issues, while the pump is rewinding:

Once everything passes inspection, I fill the reservoir with 300 units of insulin, prepare the Quick-Set with the infusion set, and prepare infusion set for "infusion". Using the Quick-Set, I attach the infusion set to my body and remove the needle, connect the catheter to the reservoir, and insert the reservoir into the insulin pump. 

Finally, I fill the catheter and cannula with insulin and voilà! I am ready for my next three days!

Although this process can take anywhere between 5-10 minutes, it is worth everything, including the pain of hitting a vein, haha.

The Hardest Part...

Since being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, my daily routines have changed dramatically. It took me quite some time to get used to it. In the beginning, my main focus was changing my diet, exercising more, and trying to remember to take my Metformin each day. Taking the pill was hard, but it turned out that I needed insulin therapy as I was not a type II.

These days my focus continues to be exercise, insulin therapy (via insulin pump), and - the hardest part - nutrition. For me, keeping track of what I eat can at times be near impossible. I know what it is I should be eating and I know that whilst I can treat myself, I should limit myself. I seem to always believe I am hungry though I understand it is all in my head. Because of my over eating, I have to inject more insulin, which makes it hard for weight loss and blood glucose control.

Something I am proposing to myself today is to each day replace one of my unhealthy snacks for a healthier one. It is a small change, but it is one that will not only make a large difference in the end, but should also lead to my replacing more of my unhealthy snacks in the day with healthier ones. Maybe replace some of those snacks altogether with something else, such as a short bout of exercise?